The day I knew would change my life forever. February 16 at 6:49pm I became a new dad to a sweet little girl. We named her Harriet. A strong name (inspired by Tubman) which means, “Ruler of the home.” The jokes on me!

Whenever there is such a large life transition, it does well to stop and reflect.

I decided to make this list of resolutions (in no order of importance). I would love to know your thoughts too.

I once asked my dad, “What does it take to be a good dad?” His answer, I thought, was quite wise. He said, “You have little control of how your children will grow up. Really, just be there.” My first resolution to my daughter is to be present. I will not be a workaholic who sees my child rarely. I will have memories with her. I will put away my phone and see, hear, and experience life with her.

Furthermore, I will be warm with Harriet. That means cuddles, and tickles. It means piggybacks and story time. It means she’ll always hear, “I love you.” A big smile on my face when I see her. Kisses when I leave the home, and kisses when I’m back.

Warmth without discipline would not be a loving thing for my child. She will learn to be polite with the P’s and Q’s. She will understand authority and so one day wield it properly. She will learn to pick up her own toys and help around the house. She will grow up knowing how to handle finances; how to pick and make good friends; how to make and keep good habits; and how to dream and pursue great things. Because I will be there to teach her intentionally.

Many parents make the mistake of prioritizing their children over their marriage. Harriet needs dad and mom to be an example of what it means to be a strong couple. She needs the security to know that true love exists. She needs to know that she can’t pit one parent over another because they are united. This also, is the most loving thing we can do for her.

In the same vein, I need to take care of myself. I should continue to workout and stay healthy. I need to carve out time to stop and reflect. I need to continue to improve myself, learn new things, be creative. Why? Because if what I teach her and how I live do not match up, I will be a poor teacher indeed.

This might sound old school. But I do intend to make ends meet for my family. Forgive me if I’m tense when a car is zooming close to my daughter. I can’t help it. I will protect my daughter with my body if I need to. I will make sure she doesn’t end up with someone who doesn’t respect her. To the best of my ability, I will provide her with opportunities to live a good life. If someone messes with anyone in my family, they are messing with me.

The best thing I have in life is having a relationship with God. I also can’t help but to want her to experience my best. With that said, I also would love her to experience discovering it in her unique way. This is the tricky bit, where I want to pass on to her what I know. But I also want to respect her choices. Faith has many benefits. I want her to feel secure in life. I want her to understand that we do good out of abundance, not fear. I want her to continue to find wonder in this life beyond herself. I want her to not fear the world around but be determined to be a positive force of change.

Lastly, I’m resolved to stay humble. Things won’t go exactly as I hope. I will fail. She will fail. We will learn together. I will need help and need to call for it. What I do will matter. But what I do will not be ALL that matters.

What are some of your resolutions? Let’s hear your thoughts below.

Lindsay is the owner of Lindsay Tsang & Associates. A true family man, and a registered psychotherapist on mission to help people. For more info, read his bio here.