Relationships are one of the most basic building blocks of our human experience. They bring joy, connection, support, and at times, significant challenges. While romantic relationships often take center stage in discussions about human connection, relationships of all kinds—familial, professional, friendships, acquaintanceships, and even fleeting interactions—can deeply influence our mental well-being.

In a recent conversation with Andi Atkins, a therapist and mother, we explored the intricate nature of relationships and their impact on mental health. Through her experiences and therapeutic insights, we delved into the good, the bad, and the necessary boundaries that help cultivate healthier interactions with those around us.

The Biological and Emotional Need for Connection

As social creatures, our nervous systems are wired for connection. Whether we acknowledge it or not, our mental health is often shaped by the relationships we engage in. Even those who prefer solitude are not immune to the effects of human interaction—whether it’s a meaningful conversation with a close friend or a casual exchange with a barista.

Therapy itself is a testament to the power of relationships. The client-therapist bond creates a safe space where individuals can process emotions, gain new perspectives, and develop strategies to improve their well-being. Outside of therapy, having a strong support system—whether it be family, friends, or a few trusted confidants—significantly contributes to mental resilience.

Understanding Different Levels of Relationships

Sometimes therapists use concentric circles to help clients understand the role of people in their life, similar to a target or dartboard. This exercise helps individuals visualize the different levels of relationships in their lives:

• The Bullseye: Yourself – At the core of this model is you, your values, and your well-being.
• Inner Circle: This consists of the closest people in your life—those you trust implicitly, confide in during crises, and feel emotionally safe with.
• Middle Circles: These include friendships and acquaintances with whom you share common interests, work relationships, and people you interact with regularly but do not necessarily confide in.
• Outer Circles: These are people you encounter in passing—store clerks, distant relatives, or even social media acquaintances.

This model is particularly useful in setting boundaries and recognizing where to invest emotional energy. It provides clarity in distinguishing between relationships that nurture well-being and those that may be draining or harmful.

The Evolution of Relationships Over Time

Relationships are not static. As we grow, our social circles shift, sometimes due to life stages, personal growth, or changes in values. Childhood relationships often revolve around family and caregivers, while adolescence marks a shift towards friendships taking precedence. Adulthood brings new dynamics, from romantic partnerships to professional relationships and parenting roles.

It is entirely normal for some relationships to fade over time. The phrase “friends for a season, friends for a reason, friends for a lifetime” perfectly encapsulates the transient nature of many relationships. Some friendships serve a particular purpose—providing support during a difficult time, sharing a common experience, or guiding us through a transition. Others stand the test of time, allowing us to pick up where we left off, regardless of years apart.

Boundaries: The Key to Healthy Relationships

Not all relationships are beneficial. While cultural and familial expectations often dictate closeness, it is essential to recognize when a relationship negatively affects mental health. Setting boundaries is not an act of rejection but rather a practice of self-care. For some, this might mean reducing communication with a family member to occasional phone calls. For others, it could mean stepping away from toxic friendships or workplace relationships that drain emotional resources.

By giving ourselves permission to reassess and re-categorize relationships, we prioritize mental well-being. Whether maintaining distance from certain family members, limiting interactions with negative coworkers, or redefining friendships, boundaries serve as safeguards against emotional depletion.

Leaning Into Healthy Relationships

Conversely, when we have relationships that enrich our lives, it is essential to nurture them. Investing in positive relationships fosters a sense of belonging, trust, and emotional security. Laughter, shared traditions, and mutual support contribute to overall happiness and mental wellness.

The key takeaway? Not all relationships are created equal, nor should they be. Recognizing where people fit in our lives, embracing the natural evolution of connections, and establishing healthy boundaries allows us to cultivate relationships that truly serve our well-being.

Human relationships are complex, ever-changing, and deeply impactful on our mental health. Whether it’s a lifelong friendship, a short-lived but meaningful connection, or a necessary boundary with a family member, the way we navigate these dynamics shapes our emotional resilience.

By understanding where to invest energy and when to step back, we empower ourselves to foster relationships that uplift rather than drain us. After all, the relationships we nurture—whether for a season, a reason, or a lifetime—play a crucial role in our journey toward mental well-being.

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This blog is a companion to our podcast Beyond the Session which you can find here: https://open.spotify.com/episode/3VXhHuQuqq9qiaCx8u3ycI

To book a session please use https://lindsaytsang.janeapp.com

Photo by Caleb Jones on Unsplash