What are you looking for in Christian marriage counselling?
Lindsay Tsang • Nov 15, 2016
Finding a Christian Counsellor
There I said it. I’m a Christian. A Bible
believing, church going, trying my best to live in obedience to Jesus,
Christian.
With that, I’ve always hesitated to call
myself a Christian counsellor. I am not trained in Biblical counselling.
Rather, I consider myself a counsellor that happens also to be a Christian.
If you are not a Christian, this post does
not need to matter for you. I do not shove my faith down people’s throats, but
I do not shy away from who I am. But yet,
if you’re interested by all means read on!
So what should I be looking for in
Christian marriage counselling? Here’s a few things to consider:
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Look for someone that understand your
faith
I do not advertise as a Christian
counsellor. But, yet Christians who’ve come through my practice appreciate my
understanding. We recognize our authority comes from above rather than
conventional wisdom. So I understand when a Christian couple comes in and they
are trying to live by the Bible. Often I hear this, “I’ve been to another
counsellor, but they just don’t get it.” For this reason, I do recommend
Christians to find counsellors that share their faith.
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Look for someone that will be truthful
with you
The only way marriage counselling could
help is if it is based on truth. It is important to understand each parties’
sides. Still, it is also important to point out strengths and weaknesses.
It’s important that the counsellor does not take sides for the couple.
That is why we do an in-depth assessment of the marriage
situation before moving on to treatment.
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Look for someone who will give you tools
you can use at home
It is helpful to read marriage books and
learn about God’s design of marriage in our lives. However, to drive home how
it would look like at home from day to day you need tools. What are the tools
that both partners could use to connect? What tools can you use to help solve
conflicts? What tools can you use to define what’s important in marriage in
life for the both of you?
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Look for someone that will pray for you
As much as tools can help, you ultimately
need God’s help in your healing. A counsellor who is Christian will come
alongside you on your faith journey. They will reveal truth where it needs to
be revealed. They will encourage you where you are to be encouraged. They will
pray with you and for you through the process.