Here’s a secret that few people truly realize: we were not made to walk alone. Part of being human is that we are made to take care of one another. But sometimes we find ourselves needing support and we don’t know where to turn.

What stops us from getting help?

Maybe the topic is sensitive and you don’t feel like your family will understand. Maybe it’s a difficult relationship and you want to maintain privacy. Perhaps it feels embarrassing reaching out. Or maybe you’ve tried everything and nothing seems to have helped.

Why do we need help?

The truth is that some burdens are too heavy for us to bear alone. But having the right support can give us direction, validate what we are going through, and help us in difficult moments.

Who are the people that support you?

Are there people in your life that you can talk to when times are tough? Who are the professionals that support you? What about colleagues at work or those you interact with in your daily routine? You may have more supports than you realize.

Try this exercise (see diagram below):

1)Draw an archery target shape made of four concentric circles. At the center, write your name.

2) Intimacy: In the closest circle to your name, write the names of a few people who you trust the most. Who was there when you really needed it? Who kept a secret for you in the past?

3) Friendship: In the next circle, write the name of those you engage in social activity with.

4) Participation: These are people you may see often but they may not be friends. (Co-workers, teammates, maybe extended family members or neighbours)

5) Exchange: In the outermost circle write the names of those with whom you have very little contact. (Your doctor? Bus driver? Staff at work?)

Here’s a secret: every relationship plays a role no matter how close.

All of the names you wrote are supporters in certain circumstances. If you need some social time you may call your best friend—but in a health crisis your doctor is your first call. Are there people in your friendship circle who you want a closer friendship with? Are there “participants” such as co-workers that you want to become friends with? Take a few moments to think about it.

Need to grow your support team?

If you aren’t getting the support you need from those in your inner circle, what simple gestures could build closer relationships? It could be something as simple as making eye contact and smiling, like Dale Carnegie shares in his classic book How to Win Friends and Influence People. Maybe your partying friends are not the most dependable—how can you forge friendships that will be good influencers in your life?

If you need more support

We get it. Sometimes you don’t want to talk to people who know you. This is where finding a good therapist can be helpful. They can offer a non-judgemental, confidential atmosphere where you can explore thoughts, talk about relationships, and perhaps learn new coping strategies.

Our team would love to hear your story. You can book online with one of our therapists or call our 24/7 line: 705-300-0077

Cover Photo by Neil Thomas on Unsplash

Relationship Circles Diagram from Inclusion Europe